Introspection is important. There does not seem to be a “solution to self”, because we are not problems to be solved. We might HAVE problems that bother us, but WE are not those problems.

Over time, and with work and luck, we can give up some worries just enough to be casually okay with who we are, and how we experience life so that we are not constantly stuck in that worry.

Worry is not banished. We just carve a new desire path slightly away from the worry about worrying.

Worry helps us reassess (second guess), which has a valid purpose, but we don’t need to second guess the fact that we second guess things (worry about worrying).

Double-worry can lead to questioning our whether we are entitled to exist, or imagining judgement from others about our right to exist.

We don’t need to second guess whether we have a right to exist. We exist, and that’s all that matters.

Hopefully, we can all find some joy/love/bliss now and again, and can avoid stomping on others when we’re feeling unwanted.

On misunderstanding

  • Everyone joins echo chambers full of people who share the same delusions.
  • For most people, a shared delusion is fact.

  • Asking questions instead of accepting on trust/faith is threatening.

  • Not sharing the same context can be gravely offensive.

  • Rational thought is a facade tinted by emotions.

  • Traumatic experiences prevent rational thought.

  • Invalid rationalizations do not mean the feelings are not real.

  • Feeling strongly does not make thoughts real.

  • The inner workings of problem solving are scary.

  • Assumptions are not guaranteed to be correct.

  • Experts are not guaranteed to be accurate, but they do have a lot of experience.

  • Being upset does not mean you have been wronged.

  • Being calm does not mean you have not committed offense.

  • You can offend without doing anything wrong.

  • Angry interactions are very likely to offend and be wrong actions.

  • Frustration looks like anger and hostility.

  • Your experiences are guaranteed to affect your views, judgements, and decisions.

  • Your prejudices are affecting your judgement.

The gravest offense is not sharing someone else’s delusion. Understanding a delusion is hard work, but can give compassion.

For me, that means sharing information, identifying facts vs opinions, asking questions to see how the pieces fit together, and avoiding some types of inflexibility and pre-judgement.

That’s threatening and incompatible with some people. It triggers a lot of emotions for a lot of people, including me. We’re all just human.

This is not about “a person”, nor an event, or any single thing. This was just brainstorming about “misunderstanding”, so at best, it’s about me and a few thousand other people, groups, etc.

So, consider what emotions this brings out. Spend some time thinking about why.