Rules of the Internet

Rules of the internet are a historical meme. Some of these are horrible, and some are amusing. This is ancient lore of the Internet from 4chan.

0. Don’t fuck with cats.

1. Do not talk about /b/

2. Do NOT talk about /b/

3. We are Anonymous

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399573105…. Expect us.

4. Anonymous is legion

5. Anonymous never forgives

6. Anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster

7. Anonymous is still able to deliver

8. There are no real rules about posting

9. There are no real rules about moderation either – enjoy your ban

10. If you enjoy any rival sites – DON’ T

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored

12. Anything you say can and will be used against you

13. Anything you say can be turned into something else – fixed

14. Do not argue with trolls – it means that they win

15. The harder you try the harder you will fail

16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure

17. Every win fails eventually

18. Everything that can be labeled can be hated

19. The more you hate it the stronger it gets

20. Nothing is to be taken seriously

21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old

22. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality

23. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality

24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost

25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post

26. Any topic can be easily turned into something totally unrelated

27. Always question a person’s sexual prefrences without any real reason

28. Always question a person’s gender – just in case it’s really a man

29. In the internet all girls are men and all kids are undercover FBI agents

30. There are no girls on the internet

31. TITS or GTFO – the choice is yours

32. You must have pictures to prove your statements

33. Lurk more – it’s never enough

34. There is porn of it, no exceptions

35. If no porn is found at the moment, it will be made

35.2. If no pony is found of it, it will be made.

35.3. If there is no app for it, it will be made.

35.4. If no poop is found, it will be pooped.

35.4×2. If there is no Lego of it, then make one.

35.5. If it is in Minecraft, the crafting idea video will be shoved into the farthest corners of YouTube.

35.6. If there is no parody of it, make one.

35.7. If there is no Pokemon based on it, there is/will be a Anymon based on it.

35.8. If no dubstep is found of it, it will be made.

35.35. If it is not on the internet it must be by midnight.

35.99. If no mario paint composer version is found of it, it will be made.

35∞. The number of objects and situations yet to be porn-ified spontaneously decreases over time.

36. There will always be even more fucked up shit than what you just saw

37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so)

38. No real limits of any kind apply here – not even the sky



41. Desu isn’t funny. Seriously guys. It’s worse than Chuck Norris jokes.

42. Nothing is Sacred

43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is the more satisfying it is to corrupt it

44. Even one positive corment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo

45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car

46. There is always furry porn of it.

47. The pool is always closed due to AIDS (and stingrays, which also have AIDS).



48. A cat is fine too.

49. One cat leads to another.

50. Another cat leads to Zippo Cat.

51. No matter what it is, it is somebody’s fetish. No exceptions.

52. It is delicious cake. You must eat it.

53. It is delicious trap. You must hit it.

53.2. The trap broke the lazah.

54.2. And today.

54.3. So does America.

55. If you have time to make up new rules, you have no life.

55.2. Except for me.

55.3. If you have no life, you do not exist. Therefore, your rule does not exist if you do not exist. No exceptions.

55.4. The rules were created by people who do not exist, so the rules do not exist. No Exceptions.

55.5. Although the rules do not exist, logic exists. The rules = logic. Therefore the rules do exist. No Exceptions.

55.5.2 Since the rules exist by logic, then the rules have always existed. No Exceptions.

55.5.3 So the creation of your rule is only a repost of science. (See rule 24)

55.6. If Rule 55 applies to you, then /b/ welcomes you.

56. They will not bring back Snacks.

57. You will never have sex.

57.2. I just had sex and it felt so good. (See rule 82)

59. No one does it like Gaston. No exceptions.

60. It needs more pumpkin. No exceptions.

60.1. What pumpkin?

60.2. It doesn’t matter as long as you give him the butter.

61. It needs more cowbell. No exceptions.

61.2 Chuck Norris is the exception, no exceptions.

62. It has been cracked and pirated. No exceptions.

62.2. The previous rule does not apply to Pokémon X and Y.

62.3. The previous rule is null and void if you have a gateway 3DS card

63. For every male character there is a female version. No Exceptions.

63.2. For every female character there is a male version. No Exceptions.

63.3. For every asexual character there is a version for each sex. No Exceptions.

63.4. Rules 63, 63.2 and 63.3 does not include real people. (Too much work. No Exceptions.)

63.5. Real people are ruled unworthy.

63.6. Rules 63.4 and 63.5 are lies. Real people can and will be gender-bent. No exceptions.

64. Don’t copy that floppy. rule 64 number

65. Anonymous is not your personal army.

66. The cake is a lie.

66.2. The lie is a cake.

66.3. The cock is a lie.

66.4. The lie is a cock.

66.5. The cake is a liar.


66.7. Iron Maiden is awesome. No exceptions.

66.8. Unless you are GLaDOS.

66.9. Maybe GLaDOS is a lie. You’ll never know.

66.10. Even if GLaDOS is a lie AFH is still truth. Refer to rule 334.3 and rule 93.

67. Anonymous does not “buy”, he downloads.

68. Milhouse will never be a meme. Ever. No matter what your post ends with. No exceptions. Ever. No.

68.2. However, “Milhouse is not a meme” is a meme.

68.3. It is undecided whether ‘ “Milhouse is not a meme” is a meme’ is a meme or not.

68.4. Refer to rule 899899

68.5. Rules 68, 68.2, and 68.3 define falsity, truthiness, and ambiguity. So by definition, Milhouse is not a meme.


69.2. If your question ends with “AMIRITE?”, the answer will never be yes.

71. The internet is SERIOUS BUSINESS.

71.∞. The internet is better than you.

72. Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions.

72.2. Except for Ash. NO ONE knows who Ash’s father is. Not even his mother.

73. If there isn’t enough just ask for Moar.

75. Rule 75 is a lie.

76. Twinkies are the answers to life’s problems.

76.2. Disregard rule 76.1, the creator was gay. Twinkies are back. They will always be back. No exceptions.

77. The internet makes you stupid.

77.7. Rule 77 is false. You are not necessarily stupid, just incomprehensible.

78. It will always need more sauce.

80. Interwebz177 did it. No exceptions.

81. Anonymous is a fool by default.

82. Nobody tells the truth on the Internet

83.2. Only mental slugs edit Star Wars.

83.4. Han shot first

84. All rules ARE true, including this one.

84.2. These rule, therefore, are rule 478-compliant.

85. Stupid rules are forbidden.

86. The term “sage” does not refer to the spice.

87. If you get pepperoni ever again, I swear I’ll blow this joint sky-high!

87.2 But you know I only like pepperoni!

87.3. Cheese pizza is the best pizza. No exceptions.

87.4. Sorry, all I got were shrooms, but we can still get high right?

88. Anonymous rules the internet. No exceptions.

89. Bruce Lee was a hero to us all.

90. It’s never lupus.

93.2. This is not rule 93. This is rule 93.2., and rule 93 was not here.

93.3. Rule 899 is rule 93. (This is not)

93.4. Fagicorn deleted the real rule 93.

93.5. Rekt.

93.6. Get it. Kunt.

93.7. The above rules are rule 93 pro tempore

93.8. AT LAST! We found rule 93! Everything makes sense now and the balance of the universe is restored!

93.9. To the writer of rule 93.8: no it isn’t.

94. This is rule 94. It was definitely not deleted by SOPA.

95. Anonymous did NOT, under any circumstances, tk him 2da bar?

96. If you express astonishment at someone’s claim, it is most likely just a clever ruse.

97. The government, The CIA, Everything is a lie.

97.2. The NSA is out to get you, no exceptions.

98. Only Zippocat is truth.

99. All numbers are at least 100 but always OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND.

100. Gay will not be tolerated. (Basically, a lot of homophobic teen boys were all over the net in the late 1990s and early 2000s. We all know this is not as much of a problem, but is not all rainbows and moonbeams either.

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