Six Things

Hrm… what’s this “list X number of things” meme? I was told “6” by Virginia Keller´╗┐ but I don’t know the rules. I’ll just list some things that may be slightly less obvious, but I really am pretty unfiltered.

1) No degree, and no formal training. I’m a computer geek because I can figure things out. I have a great ability to infer inner workings, but I forget most of it. Re-doing things makes it faster to re-figure it out, but I always need notes, cheat sheets, and help files. I make a lot of cheat sheets. There’s always someone better than me at whatever task I have to do, but I have among the widest variety of things I can work with. I’m best at finding deficiencies, and that really drives everything else (especially protecting against deficiencies). I have to work twice as hard as other supergeeks to perform a simple task.

2) When I was a kid, I took everything apart. There was a period of time that the phones in my mom’s house just didn’t work. Ultimately, SWBell had to bypass all of the inside wiring. Many things got broken, but eventually I learned limits, risks, and how to put things back together.

3) I’m afraid of heights. This is pretty lame for a guy who peaked at 6’6. Standing on a chair makes me nervous. Standing near any sort of ledge needs 4′ railing that doesn’t wobble.

4) My default facial expression looks angry. I can smile, and feel the smile muscles contracting, and STILL look angry. I’m also loud, and matter-of-fact. This means that if I’m not laughing, often people are scared of me or think I’m just being a meanie.

5) I thrive on pressure, even though I hate it. If I have a little bit of boring work, I will put it off until I am almost late, and then work REALLY hard, and turn it in just a tiny bit late. If I don’t have deadlines, or I have fake, made up deadlines, I have trouble engaging, though caffeine can help.

6) I’m horribly insecure, and always have been. I ignore it most of the time, which ends up with me not being able to answer questions like “How are you doing?” If I’m busy with a complex task, everything is fine. The focus filters out insecurity and figuring out things is rewarding. Trying to remember things is not rewarding.

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