A lot of people have great, enriching experiences through scouts. I love that. A lot of life skills are available to be learned.
It’s not allways like that. Every great organization has flawed areas. I left scouts because my troupe fostered bullying of weirdos. I was and am a weirdo. Mostly, indifference, and lack of mentorship was the result.
What was supposed to be a pinnacle experience (Philmont was beautiful!) was met with disapproval, and bullying, and leadership punishing me for being upset, but not the bully.
Oh, I absolutely wanted to fit in. I’ve always been weird. Most people don’t care, and some support and encouraged me.
Yet, being odd attracts a lot of negative attention, whether it’s doing things wrong and causing hassle for people, or often just the dislike of “different”.
Not many people stand up to the negative groupthink. Even as an adult, it burns through social credit, mine and others’, just to exist.
Most people don’t want to be the one that others have to defend, or who is constantly in conflict, or the one who always has to step in. People want simplicity.
Everyone is compelled to be a way, and it’s so much nicer when our default self fits. When you don’t fit, it’s an itch, a distraction, a weight.
If you are upset, reassess your part in that. Obviously, if you are harmed, get safe, and feel the feels. But if you simply don’t like how someone is, don’t attack them. Don’t lie about them. Don’t punish them for not being what you expext.
When you see someone doing that, don’t be shellshocked. Forget being intimidated. Join the underdog, and tell the bully to back off.
No escalation, or retaliation. No defending return attacks. If there’s an authority structure, make sure they know, and that no retaliation happens.
And then, everyone moves on. Conflict happens, and as long as it’s not recurrent abuse of power, let it go.
But if it is a recurrent abuse enabled by strength, position, wealth, etc, then be willing to join in with your voice to balance the scales and stop the opportunities from being available.
We get into problems of trust systems here though. Politics is the interaction of two or more people, especially as it applies to trusted information, interpretation, and emotional interactions.
Power is never fully balanced. There is never just one side. Not everyone can escape or flourish.
Just, don’t be the one who harms others, no matter how justified your reasons.
