Worst dream ever

Worst dream ever. Khai got caught up in some sort of program and refused to cooperate because he was tired and cranky. Because of this, he was given the choice of life in prison or death. He was still just a kid but he was pissed and chose death.

I had to leave because it was bedtime. I kept trying to call to make him make sure that was really what he wanted, but we could not get through because it was a new utility area with lots of construction. I was hacking a digital power distribution panel to try to get the computer to make the connection for us. There were maybe 8 of up, plus several kids.

Max was beside himself with grief the the rest of us were in shock. It was the first time he hugged me in 2 years. He was 14.

When I got to talk with Khai in person in the morning, he was really scared and did not believe it. He didn’t even remember the situation or making the choice. This is where I woke up. My chest hurts and I don’t want to go back to sleep.

UPDATEHad 2-3 other bad dreams while falling asleep, but decided to reset sleep vs log them then.

  1. 2 was that I was at Josh Ellis’s house, and he was sitting at the bar. He got quiet and pale, and wouldn’t respond. I walked over to check on him and he started to fall. I had to lay him on the ground and perform CPR. I called the police on my cellphone, gave the address on speaker phone, “need an ambulance. Cardiac arrest”. Someone else was in the back (maybe one of his kids?) and I told them to unlock the front door. “I’m going to have to break your ribs” to him, and “his ribs” to Margie, because CPR can do that, and he’s my size. In the dream, he was just about 50, which would also be roughly 2 years in the future. To my real, semi-awake self, that part was spooky, in that both dreams pointed to something in 2015.

I don’t remember dream #3, but it was only a few seconds… Also bad. There was a 4th, but I fell all the way asleep and didn’t really store any of the events of it. All of this was between 1:34 and a little after 2am.

So, this morning, both kids gave me big hugs. Max and I had good chats, and Khai told Erica how much he liked me. Makes me a little teary eyed, and I feel better.

UPDATE2Makes me wonder if I was waking up from some other cause, and the dreams just matched it. (ie, maybe I was having palpitations, or maybe my airway was obstructed.) Because, you know, the wake-up dreams when I have to pee always have something to do with trying to find a bathroom, and being lost, frustrated that I can’t get there…