Tag Archives: mind

Emotions, actions, identity

Posted by xaminmo

Re-analyzing and re-processing emotions is necessary for self awareness because we remember the processing result, but we exist as the current emotions which are always changing.

External identity is who we are and how we present to others, and internal identity is who we think we are based on our last self-analysis.

Resistance to being self aware of a piece happens due to fear, self judgment, trauma responses, or a larger gap in feelings/behavior than our internal model predicts.

Self control or discipline comes into play when we force ourselves to match a desired identity when we find our default behaviors or motivations don’t match expectations. This happens maybe for a goal, obligation, self protection, or similar rehabituation.

Processing any of this with or without someone else is scary, because it deals with identity. Identity processing can trigger existential crisis, defenses, etc.


On misunderstanding

Posted by xaminmo
  • Everyone joins echo chambers full of people who share the same delusions.

  • For most people, a shared delusion is fact.

  • Asking questions instead of accepting on trust/faith is threatening.

  • Not sharing the same context can be gravely offensive.

  • Rational thought is a facade tinted by emotions.

  • Traumatic experiences prevent rational thought.

  • Invalid rationalizations do not mean the feelings are not real.

  • Feeling strongly does not make thoughts real.

  • The inner workings of problem solving are scary.

  • Assumptions are not guaranteed to be correct.

  • Experts are not guaranteed to be accurate, but they do have a lot of experience.

  • Being upset does not mean you have been wronged.

  • Being calm does not mean you have not committed offense.

  • You can offend without doing anything wrong.

  • Angry interactions are very likely to offend and be wrong actions.

  • Frustration looks like anger and hostility.

  • Your experiences are guaranteed to affect your views, judgements, and decisions.

  • Your prejudices are affecting your judgement.

The gravest offense is not sharing someone else’s delusion. Understanding a delusion is hard work, but can give compassion.

For me, that means sharing information, identifying facts vs opinions, asking questions to see how the pieces fit together, and avoiding some types of inflexibility and pre-judgement.

That’s threatening and incompatible with some people. It triggers a lot of emotions for a lot of people, including me. We’re all just human.

This is not about “a person”, nor an event, or any single thing. This was just brainstorming about “misunderstanding”, so at best, it’s about me and a few thousand other people, groups, etc.

So, consider what emotions this brings out. Spend some time thinking about why.


On misunderstanding

Posted by xaminmo
  • Everyone joins echo chambers full of people who share the same delusions.

  • For most people, a shared delusion is fact.

  • Asking questions instead of accepting on trust/faith is threatening.

  • Not sharing the same context can be gravely offensive.

  • Rational thought is a facade tinted by emotions.

  • Traumatic experiences prevent rational thought.

  • Invalid rationalizations do not mean the feelings are not real.

  • Feeling strongly does not make thoughts real.

  • The inner workings of problem solving are scary.

  • Assumptions are not guaranteed to be correct.

  • Experts are not guaranteed to be accurate, but they do have a lot of experience.

  • Being upset does not mean you have been wronged.

  • Being calm does not mean you have not committed offense.

  • You can offend without doing anything wrong.

  • Angry interactions are very likely to offend and be wrong actions.

  • Frustration looks like anger and hostility.

  • Your experiences are guaranteed to affect your views, judgements, and decisions.

  • Your prejudices are affecting your judgement.

The gravest offense is not sharing someone else’s delusion. Understanding a delusion is hard work, but can give compassion.

For me, that means sharing information, identifying facts vs opinions, asking questions to see how the pieces fit together, and avoiding some types of inflexibility and pre-judgement.

That’s threatening and incompatible with some people. It triggers a lot of emotions for a lot of people, including me. We’re all just human.

This is not about “a person”, nor an event, or any single thing. This was just brainstorming about “misunderstanding”, so at best, it’s about me and a few thousand other people, groups, etc.

So, consider what emotions this brings out. Spend some time thinking about why.